Disturbing Fashion Trend Makes Comeback
What do Teddy Roosevelt, Pee Wee Herman, and Donald Duck all have in common? You guessed it: terrible fashion sense. I’m speaking specifically of their decision to wear bowties. Now, I’ll give some of the older bowtie enthusiasts a free pass, as it seems wearing one was sort of the cool thing to do back in the day. Much like James Dean and the like gave way to an entire generation of wheezing smokers with future emphysema, Frank Sinatra and Winston Churchill gave a certain status to the bowtie.
Just like so many disturbing trends that have cycled back into fashion in the last decade or two, the bowtie has become an unwelcome and openly mocked style choice. Once donned by the likes of Churchill, Roosevelt, Chaplin, Groucho Marx, and of course Colonel Sanders, the bowtie also comically resides on fictional characters like Donald Duck, Huckleberry Hound, and Tucker Carlson. Somehow, these silly ties have ‘uglied’ their way back into mainstream fashion as well; appearing in recent fashion shows paired with expensive suits and runway models.
If the majority of us decided to wear bowties and go out in public, the result would be similar to the short-lived MTV game show “Yo Mama.” Gangs of enthusiastic jokesters would take turns hurling insults at us while their entourage covered their mouths and yelled “Ohhhhhh,” as if contributing something worthwhile to the insult or life in general. Insults would rain upon us as we stood, helpless and ashamed. “Yo bowtie so cheesy, Kraft Macaroni & Cheese wanted to buy the recipe!” or “Yo bowtie so stupid, it lost at a game of world geography to Sarah Palin!” Put simply, trying to pull off the bowtie would be a disaster. Bowties must be left to cartoon characters, signs above KFC restaurants, and arrogant frat guys that need something to make their endless supply of pastel polo shirts a little “classier.”
We could try to wait out the storm until the bowtie goes back out of fashion, but since they seem to be gaining popularity by seeping into “respected” fashion shows and modern culture, more action must be taken. This trend needs to go quickly the way of platform flip-flops, Crocs, and Ed Hardy clothing. To do so, I propose we take some of the most scorned public figures and force them to wear bowties for the next few months. That should do the trick. If you saw Ben Roethlisberger, John Edwards, Charlie Sheen, Osama Bin Laden, and Tucker Carlson wearing bowties, would you put one on? I didn’t think so.