Top 10 St. Patrick’s Day Pick-Up Lines....
Saturday, 13 March 2010 00:35 | Written by Justin Cross
...That May or May Not Get You Laid
10. “A lot of people don’t like pasty red heads, but you remind me a lot of Kathy Griffin.”
9. “You’re like the four-leaf clover that’s in the crevice of the sidewalk by my apartment.”
8. (For white people) “So, you may not know this, but I’m half-Asian. That’s right, Caucasian… which if you don’t know is ‘Asian,’ but with a big ‘Cauc’ out in front of it.”
7. “I’d like you to be a guest on a show I run out of my bedroom called The O’Reilly Factor.”
6. “Hi, I’m Saint Patrick’s older brother. Saint Dick.”
5. “I don’t have a pot of gold. But I do have a bag of pot and teeth that are gold.”
4. “Let’s slam these car bombs and go bang.”
3. “Would you like to taste my Lucky Charms? I can supply milk.”
2. “I see you’re not wearing green…Wanna bang?”
1. “Kiss me, I’m not Irish…but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.”
Sex, Drugs, and Philanthropies
Saturday, 13 March 2010 00:23 | Written by Gaetano Sacco
Can Admin Takeover Equal No More Greek Fun?
It’s 9:00 a.m. on a Saturday in early April, 2007. My hangover from last night’s activities is telling me to stay in bed, but if my alarm isn’t enough to wake me up, the speakers that are blasting Red Hot Chili Peppers tunes in the lounge of the mansion definitely will. As I roll out of my bed and look out the window of my fraternity house, I realize this is the day we have all been waiting for. There I see an empty parking lot being fenced in by my fraternity brothers. In about three hours, the first of roughly a thousand people will be arriving for one of the biggest parties of the year. By two o’clock when the band starts playing, over ten different Greek organizations will be represented in this vacant parking lot in celebration of good weather, good fortune, and most importantly: youth. A recently initiated freshman knocks on my door before coming into my room. Before he says anything I stop him. “Today my friend...” I say, his eyes are glowing with excitement, “...is what partying at Penn State is all about.”
It’s hard to imagine that less than three years later, the Princeton Review’s top-rated party school in the nation would have students scratching their heads trying to figure out how to throw a party without receiving a fine or worse, indefinite suspension. Whether it is the outlawing of Wednesday social activities, mandatory bouncers checking ID at the doors of fraternity houses, or the prohibition of collective parties amongst fraternities -- there is no denying that Penn State’s Greek life has taken a nose-dive in terms of living up to its social potential. The infamous “Penn State Day-Long,” the late spring event that basically every fraternity would throw from twelve p.m. to dusk, has been restricted to a mere four hours of highly policed festivities. Finally, “State Patty’s Day,” a student-created PSU tradition that takes place one week before the school’s spring break period in order to give students a weekend of Irish fun while still together at school, has been sadly regulated to prevent fraternity houses from exceeding what new Greek Director, Roy Baker, considers “maximum capacity.”
This isn’t the first school that has undergone massive changes in fraternity social policies; for one, Syracuse University, where Baker was last employed. Syracuse’s renowned “no red-solo-cup” rule at frats was Baker’s doing during his, as www.CollegeOTR.com once called it, dictatorship.
Unfortunately, having acclaimed academics won’t save your school from this party cancer. The U.S. News and World Report ranks Penn State 15th nationally of all public universities in 2010. However, Dr. Baker doesn’t have to be around for this issue to arise elsewhere. Lehigh University, who ranked third in the Princeton Review’s top party schools in 2005, has dropped on the list significantly since then due to the stripping of student freedoms. This trend has many students dreading the appearance of their school on the Princeton Review’s once popular list, with fear of bringing the same boring fate upon themselves.
Now several months after the introduction of the new policy at Penn State, we must ask ourselves if the decision to go ahead with these restrictions will benefit the college community as a whole.
Penn State has forever had the reputation as a social-networking utopia. When students enroll at Penn State, they know that they are receiving a stellar education from a top rated public university as well as engaging in a social curriculum unparalleled anywhere else. This social experience grooms Penn State students into loving their school for more than just their eight a.m. econ lecture. Students are willing to get invested in a place that provides them with the most-fun four years of their lives, as proof by the following:
Penn State has the largest Alumni Association in the country with over 161,000 members, their student football section has been voted as the best in the country in recent years, and Thon (the Penn State dance marathon started in 1973 by the school’s Interfraternity Council) is the largest student-run philanthropy in the world. It is rather obvious that a high ranking on a list of party schools is not an accurate indicator of the student body’s worth. Lehigh University students can vouch for that.
Would the above things have come about if Penn State were on the Princeton Review’s list of “Stone-Cold Sober Schools?” Being the number one party school in the country means people are having fun. If the students stop having fun, then they’ll stop calling it Happy Valley.
Valentine’s Day Gifts You May Want to Rethink
Monday, 01 March 2010 03:53 | Written by Robin Derrida
Six things you should never get your sweetie on the “coupl-iest” day of the year:
1. Flowers you snagged from the local cemetery
2. Matching Snuggies with custom embroidery
3. Midget porn
4. Flowers you snagged from the set of the midget porn
5. A decorated bag to put over her face as you make love
6. Used lingerie from that affair you’ve been having
Monday, 01 March 2010 03:52 | Written by Kristen Fogle
Pool Parties On the Rise as New National Pastime
Pool Parties have taken over. Nationwide they have made waves as the way to get your drink on and your dance on poolside, all while looking at the half nakeds that traipse around and entice you. Whether on the west coast, east coast, or somewhere in between, here are just a few suggestions for fun in the sun for the rest of the summer. Partying poolside isn’t exactly what I’d expect out of a DC vaycay. However, in between cruising the fine city of government and making way through the impossible street set up, one may start to think that a bit o’ Sang and a whole lot of chaise lounge action is exactly what’s necessary. Look no further than the Skyline Hotel in Washington; spaceship shaped and slightly retro, it’s the perfect place to host the Saturday hotspot. “A summer camp for grownups,” as the owners refer to it, May saw the first of many lounge worthy lazy days. The drink prices are not terrible-terrible, and the crowd is not nearly as pretentious as it could be. Settle in for good times, a solid DJ and a very unexpected DC success story.
10 I St SW, Washington, DC 20024; 202.488.7500Crazy, loud, hyper sexualized. The Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas capitalizes on what it does best…giving the ultimate Vegas experience to its young, pool party goers. I still find it ironic that one is supposed to detox from a night of drinking with pounding music, uber expensive cocktails, and a long ass line, however. But once one gets in and situated, (and if you’re not hurting too badly from the night before), Rehab is an excellent time. Take a raft out of the lazy river, cozy up poolside, or dance to the beats that thud almost to the point of obnoxiousness. Do dress in your see-and-be-seen attire and don’t expect to strike up an intellectual conversation with the injected hotty with the tramp stamp. However do settle in for what it is and let Rehab cure you with an afternoon of silly simple delights.
4455 Paradise Rd, Las Vegas, NV 89169; 702.693.5000Intervention is definitely of the same breed as its big kid cousin Rehab, but the Hard Rock San Diego just can’t pull off the tricks like the Vegas hotel can. The drinks are still just as pricey, but the rooftop bar in downtown just can’t hold a candle- I mean, I’ve seen larger swimming pools in suburban backyards. Despite this, the set up is perfect for lounging or making your day ultra chic. Canopies and VIP booths abound. Scantily clad go-go dancers liven up the pop beats, and there is a large dance area. For a $20 cover, go on a day where they have guest DJ’s (Scribble, Crystal Method) and do it up proper. Do order one of their delicious shots served in an injection tube. Don’t use it afterward as a water gun to squirt unsuspecting onlookers. Not that I’d know.
207 5th Ave, San Diego, CA 92101; 619.702.3000
Honorable Mentions:The Standard Hollywood is fun, funky and right in the heart of all things Hollywood. It also serves up Splash Saturdays bi-monthly and Sunday sessions with brunch and champagne (and no cover!). Splash is an all day fiasco, but hit Sunday sesh from 2-6. If you haven’t been to the legendary hotel it’s worth a gander to immerse yourself in what Playboy calls the “hippest hotel.”
8300 Sunset Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90069; 323.650.9090Star Swim and Adult Swim are the two weekly pool parties that await you at the Wyndham Hotel Phoenix. Featuring live bands and DJs, locals and tourists mingle and party hearty. BBQing, pool toys, and lots of skin abound in this adult-only wet and wild paradise.
50 E Adams St, Phoenix, AZ 85004Get directions; 602.333.0000
Formerly Hotel QT, The Grace Hotel in New York offers an impressive, extremely modern poolside party paradise. A mere $10 cover offers you access to the moderately sized first floor pool, bar, and bleachers to view the action. Located in Times Square near Bryant Park, Broadway, and Rockefeller Center this is the go-to for someone who wants their pool-ing in posh city surroundings.
125 W. 45th St. NY, NY 10036; 212.354.2323
Official Rules of Anchor Man
Monday, 01 March 2010 03:51 | Written by Dave Adonis
Striving to be at the cutting edge of all drinking game know-how, welcome to the first installment of "THE OFFICIAL RULES OF" series. This is your chance to review our versions of the most popular drinking games
6-10 People (Preferably 8)